The majority of the time, most people find this response wholly unhelpful and can be really irritated by it. Sometimes you feel like you are in desperate need of some guidance, but truth be told, if you're at the stage where the people in your life are telling you simply to do what makes you happy, then you need to be the one to take control of your own situation.
Doing what makes you happy does not always mean you are a selfish person. Doing what makes you happy all the time or at the expense of others makes you a selfish person.
Some people are capable of living their lives in an entirely self-centred bubble of indulgence, where they act purely in their own interests for the purposes of furthering their own ends and interests. Some people live in a selfish way because they do only what makes them happy with no consideration for those around them. You will probably know people like this and will also know that these people tend to be destructive in that although they can be fun and spontaneous and wild that they will not pick up the pieces of you if they break you along the way. It is unsustainable to try and live doing only things that make you happy because sometimes you need to be a grown up and take on the responsibilities you have.
However, equally living to make others happy is also not sustainable. The term 'people-pleasing' is entirely apt here: living purely to accommodate the needs of others will tire you in such a way that you can deteriorate mentally as well as physically and sometimes its important to bare in mind your own health in more ways than one in order to create a life for yourself that is not selfish but sustainable. It's all about balance. The balance between the interests of ones self and the interests of what we love.
When dealing with things like anxiety and depression it is so so important to allow yourself room to breathe and do the things that make you happy, because often when you're in a place where anxiety or depression or generally consuming negativity overwhelms you, it can only really be you that can pull yourself out of that state of mind. When dealing with those issues people can feel really isolated and alone in their issues and in their life in general- which of course is not the case at all as globally, more than 350 million people of all ages suffer from depression and recent research suggests that as many as 1 in 6 young people will experience an anxiety condition at some point in their lives. This is the thing: you are not alone.
Often people dealing with their own issues feel like something is going to come and save them, whether that be a person or medication, a spiritual calling etc etc. Sometimes this really does happen. Due to the fact that more and more in modern society, mental health is being more widely addressed and discussed, there have been huge advances in medical fields within therapy and the pharmaceutical industry to try and combat such wide spread issues like depression and anxiety. But here's the thing, even with the drugs or the therapy or the calming oils and anything like that, you have to want to feel better- and within this wanting to feel better you have to be active in trying to recover or maintain a level of functionality and happiness in your life. Hence why personally I feel that doing things that makes you happy, or once made you happy, if you're stuck in a cycle of depression or overwhelming anxiety. The things that made you happy once made you happy for a reason, embrace those reasons and try to reach what you felt before.
It is very easy to feel isolated and alone, it is very easy to avoid people or social situations because of the complications that may arise. It is easy to resist love and affection which is shocking because it may be what you need the most, but you don't realise it. It is easy through learned behaviour to do what allows us to feel numb or to feel nothing at all for fear of falling to something stronger like anger or sadness. But you shouldn't- life is not a case of surviving 75 years of your own mind! Life is for LIVING and loving and finding who you are, and then maybe in the lives of very few or possibly in the lives of many, making a positive difference and mark on the world before we leave. Doing the things we love and that make us happy allows us to more fully live our lives, rather than survive.
If you need any more persuasion to love yourself then, here, some reasons why you should do the things that make you happy:
Doing what makes you happy does not have to be a big deal. When I say do what makes you happy it does not always mean make huge life choices that are tailored specifically to a direction of interest in your life, it can be very small things. For example, taking time out of your day to listen to music away from people, read, take a bath and use all of those hugely overpriced bath bombs you bought on a whim and never touched. Condition the crap out of your hair, read a crappy romantic book you enjoy- little things that you do can make so much difference to your overall mood.
When dealing with things like anxiety and depression it is so so important to allow yourself room to breathe and do the things that make you happy, because often when you're in a place where anxiety or depression or generally consuming negativity overwhelms you, it can only really be you that can pull yourself out of that state of mind. When dealing with those issues people can feel really isolated and alone in their issues and in their life in general- which of course is not the case at all as globally, more than 350 million people of all ages suffer from depression and recent research suggests that as many as 1 in 6 young people will experience an anxiety condition at some point in their lives. This is the thing: you are not alone.
Often people dealing with their own issues feel like something is going to come and save them, whether that be a person or medication, a spiritual calling etc etc. Sometimes this really does happen. Due to the fact that more and more in modern society, mental health is being more widely addressed and discussed, there have been huge advances in medical fields within therapy and the pharmaceutical industry to try and combat such wide spread issues like depression and anxiety. But here's the thing, even with the drugs or the therapy or the calming oils and anything like that, you have to want to feel better- and within this wanting to feel better you have to be active in trying to recover or maintain a level of functionality and happiness in your life. Hence why personally I feel that doing things that makes you happy, or once made you happy, if you're stuck in a cycle of depression or overwhelming anxiety. The things that made you happy once made you happy for a reason, embrace those reasons and try to reach what you felt before.
It is very easy to feel isolated and alone, it is very easy to avoid people or social situations because of the complications that may arise. It is easy to resist love and affection which is shocking because it may be what you need the most, but you don't realise it. It is easy through learned behaviour to do what allows us to feel numb or to feel nothing at all for fear of falling to something stronger like anger or sadness. But you shouldn't- life is not a case of surviving 75 years of your own mind! Life is for LIVING and loving and finding who you are, and then maybe in the lives of very few or possibly in the lives of many, making a positive difference and mark on the world before we leave. Doing the things we love and that make us happy allows us to more fully live our lives, rather than survive.
...
If you need any more persuasion to love yourself then, here, some reasons why you should do the things that make you happy:
Doing what makes you happy does not have to be a big deal. When I say do what makes you happy it does not always mean make huge life choices that are tailored specifically to a direction of interest in your life, it can be very small things. For example, taking time out of your day to listen to music away from people, read, take a bath and use all of those hugely overpriced bath bombs you bought on a whim and never touched. Condition the crap out of your hair, read a crappy romantic book you enjoy- little things that you do can make so much difference to your overall mood.
Doing what makes you happy can help you repair yourself. This process can work in two ways. Firstly, if you are making decisions based upon what makes you happy in life, decision making is often made much easier because you know what will make you personally happy and what will not. Often for people who suffer with anxiety or depression decision making can be hard- because you second guess yourself and your decisions often not focussing on your own needs or interests instead worrying about 100 different consequences or people's opinions, imagining yourself into absurd and negative scenarios. But if you need to make a fast decisions that will in no way infringe the freedom of other's then focussing your decision making around what makes you happy will allow you to make faster and more defined decisions.
After a long day or a hard day where it was difficult to ground yourself in your own thoughts, doing what makes you happy can lift your mood again and repair your for the next day. Involving yourself entirely in something that will make you happy kind of anchors you, emotionally, mentally- it puts you in a state where your focus is yourself, which can allow you to focus on healing yourself too.
After a long day or a hard day where it was difficult to ground yourself in your own thoughts, doing what makes you happy can lift your mood again and repair your for the next day. Involving yourself entirely in something that will make you happy kind of anchors you, emotionally, mentally- it puts you in a state where your focus is yourself, which can allow you to focus on healing yourself too.
Doing what makes you happy can allow you to develop as a person. Doing what makes you happy allows you to realise what it is that you enjoy, what it is that you're good at so that you can then go on to pursue it. Doing what makes you happy allows you to realise what brings you down so that you can identify with and distance whatever or whoever it is from yourself so that you can live feeling as free and happy as you possibly can.
Doing what makes you happy is healthy. Going on from what I previously mentioned about doing what makes you happy allowing you to identify what makes you unhappy, this process of creating distance between yourself and negative energy can bring a great deal of calm and balance to your life. I'm not entirely sure about the whole ying and yang cycle of the world but what I have gathered from it is that the concept of balance is central to the world. Balance leads to health, it's simple.
Some people believe that on an ecological level, in the ideas of biocentric equality etc, some people subscribe to a kind of holism (an idea that every living thing in the universe is intrinsically linked to each other, and stresses the importance of studying relationships between organisms rather than individuals in a really atomistic view of society). Whatever reason people have for believing in balance, it seems to create the greatest happiness. Balance allows for harmony, for natural processes to sync and become one whole system that allows individuals to thrive and it is so important to create balance within our own lives, within a work or education and home life, or even within our own minds between our positive and negative thoughts, the selfless and the selfish etc.
This whole thing brings me back to my original idea in this post- the idea that sometimes you have to make decisions that no one else can help you with and that will require you, however scary or infuriating or saddening, to make choices by yourself. In many situations it is obviously important to consider the thoughts of others, however: if a decisions is going to affect you deeply and not really have an impact on those around you, if you are not harming anyone then it is important to do what makes you happy- because this life is too damn short to exist and not live.
Years pass quicker and quicker as we get older and it is easy to fall into a trap of monotonous existence. Why are the best years of your life only a period of time? Why not extend happiness across your whole existence and really live it? I don't know about how to achieve self realisation, nor do I have a quick fix to provide a person with happiness, but I do know that it is important to foster happiness and feed it in the same way we feed negativity or consumerism, love or hate or any big emotion. If you have the capacity to do what makes you happy and live your life to its very fullest potential, as every single person on this earth does... then why not?
Some people believe that on an ecological level, in the ideas of biocentric equality etc, some people subscribe to a kind of holism (an idea that every living thing in the universe is intrinsically linked to each other, and stresses the importance of studying relationships between organisms rather than individuals in a really atomistic view of society). Whatever reason people have for believing in balance, it seems to create the greatest happiness. Balance allows for harmony, for natural processes to sync and become one whole system that allows individuals to thrive and it is so important to create balance within our own lives, within a work or education and home life, or even within our own minds between our positive and negative thoughts, the selfless and the selfish etc.
This whole thing brings me back to my original idea in this post- the idea that sometimes you have to make decisions that no one else can help you with and that will require you, however scary or infuriating or saddening, to make choices by yourself. In many situations it is obviously important to consider the thoughts of others, however: if a decisions is going to affect you deeply and not really have an impact on those around you, if you are not harming anyone then it is important to do what makes you happy- because this life is too damn short to exist and not live.
Years pass quicker and quicker as we get older and it is easy to fall into a trap of monotonous existence. Why are the best years of your life only a period of time? Why not extend happiness across your whole existence and really live it? I don't know about how to achieve self realisation, nor do I have a quick fix to provide a person with happiness, but I do know that it is important to foster happiness and feed it in the same way we feed negativity or consumerism, love or hate or any big emotion. If you have the capacity to do what makes you happy and live your life to its very fullest potential, as every single person on this earth does... then why not?
No comments:
Post a Comment